Prodigal : When I Become a Mother.

In honor of Mother's Day this weekend, Prodigal Mag is hosting a series honoring our mothers. Today I contribute with "When I Become a Mother," reflecting on my close relationship to my mom and how my  desire to be a mom has changed since she passed away in January.


P.S. My Prodigal archives, and other posts remembering my mother.  

Prodigal : Watering the Peace Lily.

So I have this peace lily... and despite how often I neglect it, it's been teaching me some things about prayer, patience, and grief. Read my musings today on Prodigal Mag :

"I always go a day too long without watering it. From my usual spot in the corner chair of my living room one evening, I looked up from my computer screen, bleary-eyed after hours of writing, and blinked at the coffee table. There was my peace lily, slumped in a terrifying wilt, its leaves prostrate..." - Read more here. 

P.S. My Prodigal archives.

Prodigal : "On Crying in Church Bathrooms."

Today on Prodigal Mag, I share about faith, grief, and whether or not going to church is worth it. It's the  first post in our two-week series, "Why Church?" 

This article was harder to write than most, so I appreciate your support and it would mean the world to me if you would share your thoughts on church, and why you do or don't attend. Here's a snippet from my article :

"A throng of people are making their way to the alter, but I'm running to the bathroom. Once I'm safe in the stall I let my tears flow freely. I hear a toilet flush and the sink run, the crank of the paper towel dispenser. I hold my breath as heels click across tile. The door bangs against the jam and then silence. I'm relieved; I just want to be left alone. In the silence I beg God quietly, Why?"  - Read more here.  

Plus : my Prodigal archives. 

Prodigal : "Facing Grief and Finding Faith"

My very first article for Prodigal Magazine has been published today! "Facing Grief and Finding Faith" is  about the challenge of finding God's love in losing my mom. Have you ever lost someone close to you? How did it change your perception of spirituality? Of God? Of Heaven and Earth? Please share your thoughts.

Thanks from the bottom of my heart to Ally and Darrell for this opportunity, and to Leigh Kramer for proofing my first article and being such a wonderful encouragement to share this story. 

A Little Announcement...

A friend sent me this photo of Anne Sexton after this bookish post I shared a few months ago. There's something about it that I find quite arresting. Her surroundings, typewriter sitting at her elbow waiting for words and books slanting against one another, waiting to be rifled through. Her outfit, sleeves rolled up on her button down, with comfortable slacks and black flats. Her position, chair tipped back with her feet on the desk. She props her hand in the air and her lips part - she's about to say something good, something worth writing down.

This is the life of a writer at its best.

At times I find myself fantasizing about this life, and I have to stop and remember that writing is hard. It's bleeding and weeping and prying your hands from perfection in order to grasp hold of the truth. It's nothing like leaning back and propping up your feet; or at least not very often, and certainly not when there's a camera in the room to document it. Sexton knew this all too well.

But just now, today, I feel very much ready to take it on, this life of writing - the bleeding and the crying, and then, in scarce and blessed moments, with the afternoon light gleaming through the window, the happy relief of having said something good, something worth writing down.

So here is my little announcement : Ally and Darrell of Prodigal Magazine asked me to be a staff writer for their newly refurbished online mag. My first article will be published later this week or next, but you'll see my words over there a couple of times each month. I'm excited, scared, thankful. 

But most of all, I'm ready.