This Little Idea I Have.

Instead of my regular bookish post on this Monday, we're going to have a little heart-to-heart.

You see, I was busy this weekend... But I wasn't busy with housework. I wasn't busy with office work. I wasn't busy hanging out with friends and celebrating my birthday for 3 days in a row.

I was busy with art.

And this art that I've been making is for something really important and potentially life-altering. It is deeply tied to my personal experiences - the people I love, the things that I think, the way that I process the world around me.

And I'm excited to share that with you when the time comes, but for now, let me just say,

Producing art allows for a lot of time to think.

And not having produced a significant volume of work in a long time, especially for the purpose of sharing it with others, I kind of forgot about that. And once I started in again,

I became so. 

incredibly. 

nervous.

Like, the palm-sweating, heart-racing kind of nervous every time I think about how much work it's going to take to make this idea fruitful. I'm torn between complete excitement and joy for this new possibility, and utter misery.

And it's silly when I think about the nuts and bolts of it, the simple and small gesture that I am actually doing as I create this. People do this all the time. And they're successful at it.

But what if I'm not?

My friend tweeted this link today, and I think it's exactly what I needed to read at this juncture in my life. Because I don't want to make myself so miserable that I sabotage my own ability to pursue this and do it well.

How to feel miserable as an artist:

1. Constantly compare yourself to other artists.

2. Talk to your family about what you do and expect them to cheer you on.

3. Base the success of your entire career on one project.

4. Stick with what you know.

5. Undervalue your expertise.

6. Let money dictate what you do.

7. Bow to societal pressures.

8. Only do work that your family would love.

9. Do whatever the client/customer/gallery owner/patron/investor asks.

10. Set unachievable or overwhelming goals to be accomplished by tomorrow.

Slowly, I've been telling a person at a time. The safe ones - my husband, my sister-in-law, my coworker. They're the ones who will tell me it's possible, tell me if my art is good or needs more work, tell me the mechanics of making this little idea that I have lucrative. No pressure.

And now I'm telling you, although I'm waiting until I can make it all official and professional and whatnot. That's how it's done.

But I share the beginning of this journey, in case maybe you're thinking about doing something like this, too.

We're in this together. So let's get started.