Today. It's just one of those when I wish with every fiber of me to do something - an impossible, unstoppable, heart-in-my-throat, no-turning-back thing that will express the breadth and depth of what I cannot say. I'd dye my hair pink, quit working, move to a foreign country and go sky diving in some breathtakingly beautiful place I've never been. Today I would go back to Interlaken, Switzerland and capitalize on the "adventure capital of the world" and go bungee-jumping, without a worry about safety or cents or holding down my lunch. I'm young, right? Let's do it now before I'm not.
Today I would swim in the ocean even though I'm terrified and not very good at it. I'd reach out and touch things I've never seen before and roll around in the waves just so I can feel out of control. Because I am. Everything is. I would do it all if I thought that it would expel the breath I'm holding. Today it is hard for me to breathe.